So, I was feeling sad today. Wait, no, that’s not quite true. I was depressed. And like many depressed people, I did something self-destructive and unwise:
I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special. And it was awful.
I don’t mean awful in that awful-but-entertaining way some movies have. I mean just plain awful. There is NO entertainment in the Star Wars Holiday Special. It is the opposite of entertainment. It is anti-entertainment.
You know how people refer to something boring as being “as exciting as reading stereo instructions”? The Star Wars Holiday Special LITERALLY has Harvey Korman reading stereo instructions for four minutes.
For four minutes, Harvey Korman stands there, reciting Ikea instructions, all the while acting as if he were a robot who was seizing up. But in a “funny” way. You know, “funny”. Like when you have to read the instructions for the long-form 1040 for enjoyment, because they’re “funny”.
Folks, this is beyond parody, beyond mere incompetence. The show takes the archetypal example of boring crap, the Ur-instance of droning, mind-numbing tedium, the purest and harshest form of brain stupefaction and inflicts it upon the audience for FOUR WHOLE MINUTES.
That’s how bad the show is. If you want to know more, Red Letter Media has a nifty little review:
But if you venture into the depths of the Holiday Special on your own… may God have mercy on your soul.