Top Ten Movies That Totally Crushed Careers!

As listed by Watch Mojo.

You’ll notice one constant in all these movies: Nearly all of them TOTALLY SUCKED. There’s a reason, it seems, why career enders actually end careers.

• I was just thinking about Mike Meyers the other day, how he totally dropped off the face of the planet. I’ve never seen The Love Guru, and contemplating it made slow suicide seem appealing. NOT the key to a healthy career, Mike.

• Of all those on the list, The Passion of the Christ is the most unfair. Jim Caviezel is a phenomenal actor (as Person of Interest shows) and he delivered a tour de force performance in Passion. More, the movie was a smash success, especially for an indie release, and so his blacklisting by Hollywood had to do with factors other than his acting, or the movie’s (considerable) success.

• Chris O’Donnell isn’t that great an actor, and utter career death is a small price to pay for helping inflict Batman and Robin on an innocent and undeserving populace.

• M Night Shyamalan had second and third and fourth chances not to suck. The Last Airbender wasn’t so much a career murderer as it was a mercy killing. “STOP HIM BEFORE HE DIRECTS AGAIN!” audiences were saying, and the movie obliged.

Superman IV was one of the worst movies ever made. Christopher Reeve was the perfect Superman, but not even Superman could survive this bomb. Maybe if he’d have thrown it into the sun?

• I kind of like Waterworld, for reasons I can’t explain. Postman, OTOH, was a disaster, and not just because the book was way better. Easy to see why it was his career’s KO blow.

Cutthroat Island is another movie I’ve never seen, but I’m fully willing to believe it lives down to its abhorrent reputation. Don’t worry, Gina, we’ll always have Beetlejuice.

• Cuba Gooding Jr. He’s a great actor, he deserves a comeback role. Maybe in a Marvel movie. Doesn’t matter, I’ll go see it.

Showgirls. A movie with so much pointless, tasteless nudity friends of mine have said “You know, by the end of the movie, I didn’t even WANT to see any more boobs.” That’s a TERRIBLE thing to do to a man. Just terrible.

• Sorry kid, your performance was bad, and the movie was even worse. Look at it this way: you WEREN’T the worse thing about that movie. Maybe that’ll make you feel better.

I tell you what, with the exception of Caviezel and Gooding, those are careers that DESERVED blighting, after making those terrible turds. Maybe not killing, but certainly time off to think about what they did. Consider it the career penalty box.

8 thoughts on “Top Ten Movies That Totally Crushed Careers!”

  1. Jim Caviezel is on the fifth season of Person of Interest. Starring in a series that passes 100 episodes and thus has a strong syndication package means he’s pretty much set for life. A look at both Caviezel and O’Donnell’s IMDB listings makes it plain that neither had any lack of work after their supposed disasters.

    Costner’s bigger problem was his advancing age rather than a couple turkeys. He was getting too old to play romantic leads to teen and 20-something audiences but not old enough for mentor roles. His comeback came with growing into different types of roles. Playing Jonathan Kent is almost a cliche for this point in his career, though his was probably the worst written version of the character to date.

    Was anybody really expecting Elizabeth Berkley to have a stellar career? Despite ‘Showgirls’ her IMDB listing shows she hasn’t lacked for work and puts her at $6 million, though it doesn’t indicate whether being married to Ralph Lauren’s nephew is a factor in that.

    Cuba Gooding Jr. doesn’t appear to have had trouble paying the bills since Snow Dogs, if IMDB is any indicator.

    Jake Lloyd? Child actor with little or no previous prominent roles doesn’t have a big career? Shock! Surprise!

  2. Oh, and places Mike Meyers at $175 million. Owning most of Austin Powers and doing all the Shrek stuff has put him in the position of not caring a whole lot if he ever makes another movie.

  3. Brandon Routh was also on Chuck, and is great as Ray Palmer on Arrow and the Flash – guessing this was made a while ago.

    Cutthroat Island is a fun movie. I love it, my friends who have seen it – many of whom are considered to have taste (which I’m not apparently) – love it. It is a thousand times better than Pirates of the Caribbean 2 on. I’d recommend watching it yourself and make your own decision.

    And yeah, Jake Lloyd can not be blamed for Episode I. Samuel L. Jackson, Liam Neeson, and Ewan Macgregor couldn’t give good performances in that movie. What chance would a lesser mortal have against Lucas’ horrible dialogue and nonsensical plot?

  4. Got to say Cutthroat Island is one of my guilty pleasures along with Water World.. I even own both on Blu ray if you ever want to borrow them.. As for M Night Shyamalan, I have to say one of my favorite of his movies is The Village. I don’t know why it gets so much hate. Finally Chris O’Donnell is doing just fine on NCIS so I don’t know why he’s even on this list..

  5. Cuba Gooding Jr. He’s a great actor, he deserves a comeback role. Maybe in a Marvel movie. Doesn’t matter, I’ll go see it.

    Hmmm… CG Jr as Rhody… I could dig that over the other 2 (though I did enjoy Terrance Howard in the role).

    Who else would you pick him to play in Marvel?

  6. Cutthroat Island and Waterworld are unfairly hated on for the same reason; overly expensive movies that lost money. Approached the right way – consuming a 6 pack before watching – both are dumb fun that are no worse than a lot of other dumb fun movies out there. Enjoy the spectacle! Just talking about it makes me wanna watch it again. Beer boy, bring me my beer! Oh, I’m still at work…

  7. Caviezel is a great actor. I’ve enjoyed most everything he’s been in and would gladly see any movie with him in it. He really didn’t deserve the blacklisting he got.

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