The Division: Spreading Joy and Sunlight EVERYWHERE!

The Division, an upcoming game from Ubisoft, was described this way:

The Division has really leaned into the bleakness of its concept in a big way. Every trailer released solely focuses on pain, death, violence and disease to get us to want to buy it.

– Bleeding Cool

Sounds like fun. LET’S WATCH THE TRAILER!

“We followed our orders: Isolate the sick in the middle of Manhattan.”

Somebody either giving or following those orders has no idea what “isolate” actually means.

“We built a wall to contain the sick.”

Unless this is a Zombie Apocalypse game, that was a waste of money.

And even then, 75% chance you just wasted a lot of time could better be spent shooting zombies.

• “That’s when the power went out. Rioting, looting, chaos.” 

Man, those sick people sure are SPRY. When I’m sick, about the only chaos I can get up to is running to the toilet so I don’t puke on the floor.

• “We abandoned tanks, missiles, and the cure in the containment zone.”

And how is that working out for you? Also, “our most powerful weapons”: If that means nukes, the writer should be beat with baseball bats.

• “Few dare go over the wall.”

Well, what with the surprisingly spry sick people who have access to tanks and missiles (and maybe nukes), I’M NOT SURPRISED.

• “Fewer still come out.”

Again, no surprise there.

“We call this place…”

Detroit?

Oh, sorry, “The Dark Zone”.

I see what you did there. ; )

I think I liked this game more when it was called “Prototype”.

2 thoughts on “The Division: Spreading Joy and Sunlight EVERYWHERE!”

  1. I loved the first trailer from 2014 E3 but the more I see of it, the less I care now. And the less I believe. And how the heck are there tanks and missiles in Manhattan? This isn’t Ft. Benning, it’s YUPPIE central. And if the Army brought them in and PANICKED when the frigging power went out, I’m blaming John McHugh.

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