It’s like the Five Stages of Grief, but for kick-ass cinema superheroes.
I pretty much skip Step 1. See: “getting cynical in my old age“.
#2 I seldom hit, because I’m too busy getting ready to take notes in the dark. Perils of reviewing movies.
I don’t care about the comics (and the post-Secret Wars universe won’t make me care), so #3 is right out.
Stage 4, for me, is either “satisfaction” or “bitter disappointment verging on murderous rage at the incompetent jackholes who ruined what could have been a great movie with some ham-handed BS”. Not that I’m bitter.
Post credits? Yeah, I always watch those. Quick tip: if you’re not sure if a movie has such a thing, bug one of the cleaning people infiltrating the theater as the credits start to roll. They’ll know, and a single question can save a lot of time.
Also, that dude had some BAD luck. Or, given that all the seats around them were empty, he probably just thought “Hey, hyperkinetic nerdy girl, maybe she’ll let me date her and maybe she’ll even touch my lips with hers.”
Something you learn when you get old and cynical: no amount of touching makes crazy worthwhile.