The most difficult part of this job is just finding something interesting enough to post about and share. There’s a lot of crap out there, and most of it isn’t remotely interesting enough to make into a full post.
To illustrate the point, I present the Top Five Rejected Topics for Tonight’s Post.
5. “Paramount Doesn’t Want Star Trek Beyond to be ‘Star Trek’”
You know, Paramount, we’ve got a term for this. It’s called “NOT STAR TREK”! Morons.
Look, folks, the key to success isn’t discarding all the unique elements of your thing, so you can make it exactly like someone else’s thing. It’s doing your thing WELL.
It’s that last bit keeps tripping people up.
4. “Movie Deathmatch: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome versus Rambo III“
Thunderdome is better, by far. It’s only mediocre as a movie, not disastrous.
All appearances to the contrary.
3. “Review: Poltergeist Isn’t as Good as the Original”
Well damn, I lost THAT bet.
“Hi, Central Casting? Can we get Sam Rockwell and a bunch of bland, forgettable nobodies that make drying paint look charismatic and exciting? We can? EXCELSIOR!”
2. “Hardcore Thor Variant Action Figure from Square Enix”
He’s the VIKING GOD OF THUNDER. He’s all about raiding, robbing, and revelry. Plus, you know, MAGIC FREAKING HAMMER!
How could he POSSIBLY get any more hardcore?
1. “12 Movies to Watch After You See Tomorrowland“
Or you could just skip Tomorrowland and go see them instead.
They couldn’t be any worse.
Honorable Mention: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 Will Bring Back A Major Villain”
Megan Fox isn’t that great of an actress, but I wouldn’t call her a major villain.
That wasn’t what you? Oh, sorry. Nevermind.