14 Stupid Sequels

Do sequels always suck? Well there’s Terminator 2, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, Toy Story II, Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, The Dark KnightThe Road Warrior… okay, point made. Not ALL sequels suck, just most of them.

Eddie Deezen, over at Neatorama, has a few candidates to consider…

Grease 2

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When a movie stars Rex Manning, you know it’s gonna be bad.

(Fine, “Rex” was 13 years into the future when this film was made, but still… did Grease really NEED a sequel?)

Ace Ventura, Jr.

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The first was mostly great, the second nigh unwatchable, but… wait, they made a THIRD? In 2009, and it was so bad I never even heard of it. Wow, that’s bad.

Titanic II

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A straight-to-video sequel with production values so low, adult film producers are rolling in dough by comparison (and they can make movies for $3.50 and a stale donut). Titanic being legendarily expensive itself (Cameron built an entire 1/4 scale model of the ship. Which is INSANE.), you have to cringe just considering what this movie must have looked like.

(Of course I didn’t watch it. Are you NUTS? I have brain cells to protect.)

One would think those three examples are enough, but one would be an idiot. Deezen has 11 more “Bad, Unnecessary, or Curious Movie Sequels” (including one directed by Morgan Freeman) waiting for you At The Link!

(Though, curiously, he omits Son of the Mask, Jamie Kennedy’s hapless attempt to out-Carey Jim Carey. Big mistake, Jamie.)

7 thoughts on “14 Stupid Sequels”

  1. It’s true Temple of Doom didn’t suck, but it wasn’t great either. And its silliness open the door to the silliness of Crystal Skull, which makes it a misfire IMHO.

  2. Hey, now I wouldn’t say the Temple of Doom was silly, I’d say it was way too dark. It wasn’t as fun as the other two because of this.
    (Is Crystal Skull one of the LucasArts games? Never heard of it.)

  3. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the fourth film. Indianna Jones survives an atomic bomb by hiding in a lead-lined fridge. It goes downhill from there with cgi monkeys a low point.

    I liked the darkness in Temple of Doom, but I didn’t like the silliness of falling from a plane in a raft or mine carts jumping tracks. And that screeching heroine… I think Spielberg wanted to balance the darkness with sillier action, but for me it doesn’t work.

  4. No the third Indiana Jones movie is like the stories of a second Highlander movie, tales told around the campfire to frighten children. No such movie exists.

  5. There are three main reasons why sequels fail.

    1) The series’ main villain undergoes no further development, neither in his character nor in the scope of his goals. Or they wastefully killed him off in the original and replaced him with someone much less interesting. (Belloq was Jones’ dark reflection, who in some ways knew him better than Indy knew himself, and had coherent logic to his villainy. Mola Ram was a literal thug who counterintuitively enslaved starving children to….what? Start some kind of Thuggee holy war, I guess.)

    2) No new main or supporting characters are introduced. Or if they are, they’re uninteresting/irritating. (Hate to beat a dead horse, but,) Willie and Short Round: ’nuff said.
    Empire Strikes Back is a fantastic counter-example. Yoda, Lando; even Boba Fett bring a lot to the table.

    3) The sequel doesn’t raise the stakes of the conflict (see point 1). This urge to play it safe is why many a sequel plays like a total rehash of the first film (looking at you, Ghostbusters II and Star Trek: Into Darkness).

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