The Utterly Unpossible Edition Of SimCity Released

Blah, blah, blah, long story short, EA sucks.

They launched SimCity, which they mandated must be always online, for reasons amounting to wanting to farm gamers for crazy stupid stacks of fundage. Predictably, their servers crashed like an <insert tasteless joke involving airplane related crashings>, and gamers couldn’t play the game they paid real goddamn money for.

People complained, because without EA’s servers, they couldn’t even play the game they paid real goddamn money for. At all.

EA suits said “Tough noogies, suckers! Ha-ha-ha!” as they ran off to buy themselves gold plated nostril ticklers. With your money. That you spent on a game which didn’t work.

Tech savvy spokesmen claimed EA couldn’t add an offline mode. It was impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. Fundamental physical constants of this universe — Avogadro’s number, maybe — prevented such an unpossible thing from ever happening. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Ever.

So yesterday they launched an offline mode. A mere 6 months after the game launched.

Golly, EA, youse just all about building customer loyalty, ain’t cha?

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