Grand Theft Auto’s Life Lessons

What I learned from playing GTA IV w-a-a-a-a-a-y too much.


1) Wear a seatbelt. Nothing like flying through your windshield a few hundred times to remind you to buckle up.

2) Obey speed limits. Driving down city streets at breakneck speeds is thrilling, but the sudden stop at the end is jarring. (See Point #1, above.) And when a crashed car will cost you real money (not to mention all the medical bills), it’s better not to go that route.

3) Don’t drive drunk. I’ll admit, getting plastered with Packie is great fun, as is trying to drive home afterward. But the damage to your car is horrendous, and in the real world that’d cost a whole hell of a lot of money. (Plus, you know, pedestrians, the threat of death or jail time, and other drivers and stuff.)

I’ll admit, not sexy things to have learned, but valuable lessons nonetheless.

And, just so we’re clear, this post isn’t entirely ironic. I really did become more rigorous about seat belts because of my time in Liberty City. I never want to bounce off the pavement the way Niko does.

Wear your belt, save your life. That’s what I learned from GTA.

3 thoughts on “Grand Theft Auto’s Life Lessons”

  1. I can still hear that music in my head, every time I read that phrase.

    True story: I almost titled the tag for this post “Now You Know”. In retrospect, I think I should have.

    So I will. Thanks, Glen!

  2. Wait… I already have a “Knowing Is Half The Battle” tag. When did that happen?

    Oh, like five days ago. Huh.

    Maybe I should use that.

    (Yes, I’m a moron. Stipulated.)

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